Catholic Commentary on Tobit 8

"Now, Lord, I am not taking this kinswoman of mine because of lust, but with sincerity." (Tobit 8:7)

The Wedding Night Prayer

Before they sleep together, Tobias does as Raphael instructed: he takes the fish's heart and liver and puts them on the charcoal incense burner. The smell drives the demon Asmodeus away to Upper Egypt, where Raphael binds him. Raguel's servants dig a grave, expecting Tobias to be dead by morning. Tobias and Sarah pray together: blessed are you, God of our ancestors; blessed be your name forever. You made Adam, and Eve his wife to help him and support him. Then the prayer of Tobias: Now, Lord, I am not taking this kinswoman of mine because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may grow old together. He sleeps. In the morning the servants find them alive.

The Catechism cites the prayer of Tobias and Sarah on their wedding night as one of the foundational texts for the theology of Christian marriage: the marriage entered in prayer, with sincerity rather than lust, is placed under divine protection (CCC 1611).

Living the Word

Brothers and sisters, I am not taking her because of lust, but with sincerity. The distinction between the desire that reduces the other to an object and the love that approaches in sincerity is the distinction between the lustful and the covenantal. Every marriage needs Tobias's prayer: not for lust but for sincerity, not for gratification but for mercy, not for the night but for growing old together.

Prayer

Lord God, we approach every covenant relationship not for lust but with sincerity. Grant us mercy and let us grow old together. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

8
1 And after they had supped, they brought in the young man to her. 2 And Tobias remembering the angel’s word, took out of his bag part of the liver, and laid it upon burning coals. 3 Then the angel Raphael took the devil, and bound him in the desert of upper Egypt. 4 Then Tobias exhorted the virgin, and said to her: Sara, arise, and let us pray to God today, and tomorrow, and the next day: because for these three nights we are joined to God: and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock. 5 For we are the children of saints, and we must not be joined together like heathens that know not God. 6 So they both arose, and prayed earnestly both together that health might be given them, 7 And Tobias said: Lord God of our father, may the heavens and the earth, and the sea, and the fountains, and the rivers, and all thy creatures that are in them, bless thee. 8 Thou madest Adam of the slime of the earth, and gavest him Eve for a helper. 9 And now, Lord, thou knowest, that not for fleshly lust do I take my sister to wife, but only for the love of posterity, in which thy name may be blessed for ever and ever. 10 Sara also said: Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us, and let us grow old both together in health. 11 And it came to pass about the cockcrowing, Raguel ordered his servants to be called for, and they went with him together to dig a grave. 12 For he said: Lest perhaps it may have happened to him, in like manner as it did to the other seven husbands, that went in unto her. 13 And when they had prepared the pit, Raguel went back to his wife, and said to her: 14 Send one of thy maids, and let her see if he be dead, that I may bury him before it be day. 15 So she sent one of her maidservants, who went into the chamber, and found them safe and sound, sleeping both together. 16 And returning she brought the good news: and Raguel and Anna his wife blessed the Lord, 17 And said: We bless thee, O Lord God of Israel, because it hath not happened as we suspected. 18 For thou hast shewn thy mercy to us, and hast shut out from us the enemy that persecuted us. 19 And thou hast taken pity upon two only children. Make them, O Lord, bless thee more fully: and to offer up to thee a sacrifice of thy praise, and of their health, that all nations may know, that thou alone art God in all the earth. 20 And immediately Raguel commanded his servants, to fill up the pit they had made, before it was day. 21 And he spoke to his wife to make ready a feast, and prepare all kind of provisions that are necessary for such as go a journey. 22 He caused also two fat kine, and four wethers to be killed, and a banquet to be prepared for all his neighbours, and all his friends. 23 And Raguel adjured Tobias, to abide with him two weeks. 24 And of all things which Raguel possessed, he gave one half to Tobias, and made him a writing, that the half that remained should after their decease come also to Tobias.

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