"When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, I trust and am not afraid." (Psalm 56:3-4)
Psalm 56 is connected in its superscription to David's capture by the Philistines at Gath (1 Samuel 21). He is in enemy hands, surrounded by people who twist his words and plot to harm him. The reality of the threat is not minimised: All day long they press their attack; in their pride many are attacking me. From the physical danger of being held by the Philistines to the psychological danger of enemies who misrepresent everything he says, the threat is real and multidimensional.
In the midst of this danger, one of the most honest and most useful confessions in the Psalter: When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. The psalm does not say: I am not afraid, because I trust in you. It says: when I am afraid, I trust in you. The fear is real. The trust is not the absence of fear but the response to it. The Catechism teaches that the experience of fear is not incompatible with faith: what is incompatible with faith is the surrender to fear, the letting of fear govern the response rather than trust (CCC 1765).
Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll, or are they not in your record? This is one of the most moving verses in the Psalter. The believer asks whether God is keeping a record of every tear. The implicit answer is yes: every tear is noticed, recorded, known to the one who made the eye that weeps. Not one tear is wasted, not one cry goes unheard. This is the intimacy of the God who knows the hairs of your head: he also knows the number of your tears.
Brothers and sisters, admit when you are afraid. The psalm does not ask you to pretend. It asks you, in the moment of fear, to make the choice of trust. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Say it in the moment of fear: not as a denial of the fear but as a direction of the fear toward the one whose word is trustworthy and whose record of your tears is complete.
Lord God, when I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In you, whose word I praise, I trust and am not afraid. Record my tears. Know my misery. And deliver my soul from death, my feet from stumbling, so that I may walk before God in the light of life. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.